The Infinite Now vs. The Finite End

The world today seems full of two kinds of people. Those who believe life is just one step in an eternally continuing journey, and those who believe there is no meaning to life; that when we die, we cease to exist.

Who is right? Does it matter?

This difference of thought has caused many conflicts throughout the history of Humanity.

Here is how I look at it:

If I cease to exist when I die, then it doesn’t matter what I believed or what I thought or did in my life.

If I move on to the next step of an eternal existence when I die, then it makes sense to ensure my life had meaning and ran a course I felt was worthy.

So, since nothing would matter if I ceased to exist, I therefore choose to believe that life is an eternal journey and has meaning.

If I’m wrong?

What difference does it make? I would cease to exist, so I wouldn’t be able to care!

 

-Smile. Today is a wonderful day! 🙂

 

Inner Drive – Having the Power to Change

I find myself thinking lately a lot about my life and where it’s going. The days seem to run together and everything seems static. Now I know this to be untrue, yet I find myself unconsciously going out of my way to ensure that each day comes and goes with as little change as possible. I have days where the opposite is true, but most days fall into the static category.

Why?

I think part of it is Fear of Change. I also think, however, a big part of it is feeling Powerless to make any significant change.

It’s nice to say that we all have the power to effect change if we just apply ourselves, and I suppose that’s even true, but what about the things we cannot change? Or, what about the things we COULD change, but for some reason we cannot find enough ‘inner drive’ to actively effect that change?

Here’s a good example. I have a job. A good job. In fact, in this economy and in this world, I should consider myself quite lucky. However, I’ve hated my job since the company I worked for centralized us over a decade ago. I hate the politics in a corporate environment. If I could list just one thing about my life that I could change, it would be what I do for a living. But there is literally nothing else I could do that would pay as much as I make now, and what I make now is barely enough for my family of 6 to survive on. Okay, perhaps that’s not entirely true. It’s more true to say that finding the time to learn or do something new is very difficult. Now, here’s what I mean- Could I manage to learn or do something else that would pay the bills? Sure. In fact, I can think of a few things I could take the time to learn. Yet still, every day remains static and the days continue to run into each other.

What I am lacking is that certain, ‘Inner Drive.’ You know, that inexplicable feeling you get regarding something that all of a sudden, usually in the span of a single day, causes you to change something about your behavior that totally alters your life. Why is it that we seem to have no control over this feeling? There seems to be some kind of internal ‘tipping point’ that we must reach before our unhappiness about something reaches a point where something inside just snaps.

What is this?

I have had a few of these moments in my life. Moments that have drastically altered the course of my life. For example, when I was 19 I had a mental breakdown. I had been diagnosed with Bi-Polar disorder and my life was a terrible mess as a result of my unhappiness and poor choices. One day, the consequences of one of my poor choices hit me square in the face and I was left curled up in a ball and quite literally out of my mind. Somehow my grandfather new how to snap me out of it by angering me. Once I came to my senses I went outside and in a torrent of fury raked the entire yard in 10 minutes. But something happened in those few moments. I began to ask myself why I was so unhappy and the inescapable conclusion was that I was afraid of being happy, afraid of being a failure, and in my fear I was too afraid to make a choice. In that moment I realized that failing to actively Choose happiness was the same thing as choosing to be unhappy. I made the choice to be happy that day. Within a couple months I was off medication and I have never looked back.

What happened? I acknowledged my fear, understood the truth of my particular situation, realized the power I had all along, and made a choice.  What started as probably the worst day of my life became the beginning of long-term positive change in my life. In this particular case, it was the powers of realization and acknowledgement that fueled change. But what about those situations you know need change but you have neither the proper realizations or acknowledgements?

I’ve literally spent years trying to find the ‘inner drive’ to change my job situation and simply cannot reach that place where the drive is strong enough to give me the power to change. There are other things in my life that still come first. Paying the bills (my job), my family (having a wife and 4 children is very time consuming!) and my own need to find ‘down’ time so I can unwind from all the stress the first 2 things cause me. It is a nasty cycle and I cannot seem to find my way out of it without choosing to forget about my family or paying the bills, both of which I’m simply not willing to do. I don’t just feel like I’ve been backed into a corner, I feel like the room I’m in has had the doors and windows removed.

I’ll figure it out eventually- I always do. Anyone who has any insights, please share!

Take Responsibility

I spent years of my life trying to understand WHY life involves so much adversity, so much anger, sadness, fear, chaos, and violence.

Stop for moment.

Ask yourself how your life would be without such things. If every day was bright, happy and full of satisfaction.

I don’t know about you, but that kind of life would be great at first, and then quickly get supremely boring. Not only that, but without all the ‘bad’ things in life, none of us would learn anything. None of us would grow, or seek to become more than we are at any given moment.

Greatness only exists by overcoming those things which cause adversity.

I used to be one of those people who constantly asked, “If God loves us so much why does he let terrible things happen?”

Free Will.

Without Adversity and Free Will, what would be the point of anything? The price of having Free Will is having to suffer the consequences of your actions. We are all part of this world, so it’s inappropriate for you to say, “I wasn’t involved in that bad situation, so it’s unfair I have to suffer the consequences!”

That is what is most wrong with the world today. No one is taking any measure of responsibility. It is our right and privilege to come TOGETHER and stop those things we wish were different.

Inaction equates to acceptance. Nothing risked also means nothing gained!

-Take Responsibility. Those who repeatedly pass the buck are giving up their Free Will.

People Causing Stress..

Every once and a while I have one of those days where every person I talk to aggravates me the second I talk to them. It seems that I’m always waiting inordinate amounts of time for other people . Of course this is mostly because of my job. Part of what I do is Tech Support and you would think with modern technology like Instant Messaging that people would reply within a couple minutes to an IM you sent them, wouldn’t you?

NOPE.

Someone calls in an issue with their machine or software and when you try to respond in a timely manner they just ignore you for hours between sentences in your IM window. Even when it comes to things that should require timely responses. I’m not talking about the person isn’t there at the moment or is in a meeting or something, I mean you know they are there because their status is green and available..  I guess the simple truth is not everyone cares as much as I do.

WHY?

I wonder why I allow myself to get so stressed out over something for someone else when they themselves clearly don’t care that much.

If you’ve ever experienced this, drop me a comment and let me know how you deal with this. I find that I get caught up in that stressful feeling and it takes me all day sometimes to realize how frazzled I am. It’s hard to take some deep breaths to relax if you aren’t even aware you need to relax!

-Stop. Just Stop. Throughout your day force yourself to take a break often and try to just be in the moment and AWARE for a few minutes.

Face Your “Comfort Zones”

Today seems to be ruled by thoughts of Change for me.  A number of years ago I began to write a book (which someday I hope to finish) called “Finding Your Way In a Confusing World.” In it, I wrote a section on what I called, “The Comfort Zone.” For some reason it strikes me to share my thoughts on this. I’ll start by quoting a section from my book.

            It is natural to want to control the environment around you so that you can stay within your ‘comfort zone’. Everyone has at least one comfort zone. You get into the ‘groove’ of things being a certain way, and whether you are consciously aware of it or not, you fight to keep things that way.

            Here’s a good example. When you are 18 years old, you fall deeply in love with someone. After being with this person for 2 years, getting to know each other very deeply and growing very close, you become comfortable. Time begins to roll by and as you each grow and change you begin to get hints of realization that you are growing in separate directions. But, wait! You love each other, you are extremely comfortable with each other, and so, even though it’s obvious to each of you that you are growing apart, you begin to make all sorts of excuses and reasons why it’s not bad enough to warrant you having to break up with each other.

            At this point, you are in the ‘comfort zone’. You have become so comfortable being with this other person, that contrary to all the signs that you are growing apart and beginning to move in separate directions, you refuse to acknowledge it. It’s at this point that things start to get stressful. You begin to feel yourself pulled in different directions. At first, it’s not so bad; you learn to give up on this, let go of your desire for that. Just little things at first. But you find inside yourself a growing sense of unfulfillment. You are now a victim of the ‘comfort zone’.

            The comfort zone is something that has claimed all of us in this life. We all have our own particular comfort zones in relation to many things. Once you realize that you need to start finding ways to get out of your comfort zones, you come to the part where you realize you have to figure out what they are!

            A good way to begin to figure out where your comfort zones are is to pay attention whenever you feel comfortable. I know this may sound a little silly, but it works. By paying attention, I mean taking the time to examine what is making you comfortable, and why you feel comfortable. Then, you need to ask yourself, ‘is this particular comfort beneficial or necessary to me?”

It was about 10 years ago now that I started examining my own comfort zones. In that time I’ve learned many things about myself and the world we live in. Many ‘Comfort Zones’ are fairly harmless. However, once you start the process of examination, eventually you will stumble across one or two, or even a few that are real roadblocks to you personally. And there lies the value in the process.

For me, my biggest one was I had become completely used to being unhappy. In fact, it was almost an art, and I.. I was Picasso! The process took a few years, but as I began to become more aware of my unhappiness and the causes of it, I had a number of “ah ha!” moments that really helped me break through the barriers and overcome my propensity for feeling down all the time.

Today I’m certainly not the happiest person in the world, but I AM generally happy. I have learned how to see the good things and merely acknowledge the bad things without identifying with them.

 

-Face Your Comfort Zones. Change is Good.

 

Break the Bonds of Separateness

Throughout most of my life I have been a loner. I’ve always been friendly enough, but generally I’ve been one of those people who likes to keep to himself and avoid contact with others as often as possible. I’m sure being that way is a result of my experiences growing up. I was the kid that never really fit in. I was too intelligent and too mature to really get along with others my own age. I was picked on constantly and had horrible self-image. It was a downward spiral that finally hit rock bottom when I was 19.

I won’t go into details as I could honestly fill an entire book. However, there is a point I’m looking to make. Throughout the years I have come to realize that most people who are ‘different’ end up this way. Those who fit in from an early age find themselves occupied with lives devoid of meaning because they are so tied up in which team won the game, who won Dancing with the Stars, or what the latest and greatest video game system is. Those of us who have the ability to see beyond these unnecessary and distracting facets of life are made to feel awful to the point where we withdraw into our own little world and thus become totally ineffective and useless to all those people in the world who we might have something of value to share with.

But don’t think I’m trying to generalize people into groups. I think all people have something of value to share with others. It’s a fault of our value system that we think someone who has more to share is therefore more important or ‘better’. The truth is we are all just cogs in the grand machine of existence and even the smallest cog broken or out of place can degrade the functionality of the entire machine.

–Separation of consciousness is an illusion. The truth, is that the only thing that separates myself from you is our mutual belief that we are different.

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Point of View.. Positive or Negative?

Which type are you? The kind that tries to put everything in to a positive light or the kind that only focuses on the negative aspects of things?

I’ve found only these two types of people in my 30-some odd years of life. I used to be one of the latter. Over the last 15 years I have really struggled to become the former.

Over time while trying to learn how to be more positive I hit THAT point. If you’ve been there, you know what I’m talking about. It is the point where you focus on making everything so positive that you find yourself totally oblivious to the negative.

While this may seem totally awesome at first I have come to realize that it is really a wolf in sheep’s clothing.

Why? Because ignoring the negative side to things doesn’t make it not exist. It’s just like the old adage, “Just because you can’t see it, doesn’t mean it’s not there.”  Somewhere along the way I realized that being 100% positive was in reality far WORSE than being mostly negative. At least in the world in which we live. After your incessantly positive attitude gets you burned enough times, you start to figure this out.

So what have I done to alleviate this? I have tried to maintain a positive attitude while being cognizant of the negative side of things. This may sound pretty straight-forward, but believe me, it isn’t.

What is my view today? I consider myself a pretty positive person who is in general pretty happy even considering the numerous negative aspects of my life and of the world in which we live. In order to become this way I have had to learn to control my emotional state rather than let it control me. It also includes a measure of faith in a higher power that knows a heck of a lot more than I do. Anyone who has tried this already knows how incredibly difficult this is.

Have I achieved the most PERFECT emotional and mental state a human can..?

Yeah, R-I-G-H-T..!

–Life is a Journey. The Journey doesn’t end until you do.